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| I'm changing, growing, and learning a lot, but the statement on this image still holds true. And, thankfully, God created me with a sense of humor. ;) |
I am very thankful that over the holidays the Hubs (strongly) suggested that I start reading The Attributes of God Volume 1: A Journey Into the Father's Heart by A.W. Tozer. As I've worked my way through Tozer's definitions of God's attributes - attributes defined as not being something God HAS, but something God IS - the shell of my cynical heart has been shattered, turning me into a sobbing, broken, introverted mess, gloriously redeemed, but absolutely in need of the continual mercy of God. I've been a Christian for 29 years, but my pride took the biggest hit of my life in the last month.
I was struck this week that for the last year(+), I have defined myself by the measurement of man. I'm an INTJ (man's "wisdom"). I am a Type A (man's definition). I am an introvert who doesn't like people (my own assessment!). And it's not that I should suddenly say, "I'm not like that at all" - because that would be a lie. Those things still describe me quite accurately, but my goal should NOT be to embrace MY personality more, but to embrace God's attributes, even when (or ESPECIALLY when) they go against my natural human tendencies.
I should not want to become more like the INTJ me, working to make the definition MORE accurate, but I should instead desire to be more like God. I will never be infinite or immense, omnipresent or immanent, and though I will never come close to the goodness, justice, mercy, grace, holiness, or perfection of God, those should still be the attributes I'm focused on practicing. Not becoming more introverted, but learning to love people more; not stopping my judgement, but tempering it with mercy and grace; not thinking more of myself, but looking upward to Jesus, and outward to the needs of others.
I am a work-in-progress, and these thoughts are still being sorted through in my head (so I ask that you exercise grace if something isn't quite clear - I'm working on it), but the bottom line is that TODAY I choose to learn less about ME, and a whole lot more about HIM. I choose to grow more in His Word, and less in the wisdom of man. I choose Jesus today so that other's will look at me, but see Him.
It's a lifelong process... care to join me?
I love your transparency. Funny that when you were trying to help me do better at my work,I never detected for an instant that you were either Type A or didn't like people. I guess it's because I am anything but type A and I live everybody - unless you're an ax murderer. I would definitely call that into question. I used to have this posted on my computer where I could read it every day. :Live your life in such a way that those who don't know God will want to know him because they know you." I wish I could give the rightful person credit for that quote because there were times when I know for sure it changed my attitude and my actions.
ReplyDeleteJane - in addition to having INTJ and Type A tendencies, I am also very good at being a chameleon. :) Just because I don't like being around people (in general), doesn't mean that I haven't worked on hiding or overcoming that tendency. There is a time for everything - both for being with people to share the light of Jesus, as well as to draw apart and renew relationship with God. What I'm learning is a balance. :) Love the quote - thanks for sharing!
DeleteThat reminds me...I still own you a hug :)
ReplyDeleteI loved this post, and there were certainly bits of it I could relate to myself. This is one case where having a husband with the opposite personality to mine is helpful: he encourages me in those attributes, such as showing grace, that come more naturally to him than to me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and taking time to leave a comment, Clare. :) With both the Hubs and I identifying as INTJs, it definitely leaves us open to blind spots, but thankfully the Lord is working on that with both of us. :)
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