Have You Seen My Self Control?

I seem to have lost it somewhere between the box of crackers and half of a lemonade pie. I know I put it somewhere a while back, someplace where I could conveniently pull it out when my trousers got a little tight, but now that warmer weather is here and my drawer of shorts are laughing at me, I can't seem to find it.

My theory is: 

The scale is from the 7th circle of you know where.
Sweets are made to be eaten.
And burlap sacks are the latest summer fashion.

Sadly, the reality is that it's time to go unpack my self-discipline from wherever it was that I last used it... 2010? Yes, I think that's where I last saw it, when I lost those 25 unwanted pounds. And even though I told them that they weren't welcome, back they've come.

Image Credit

I'm sure it has nothing to do with any lack of moderation in my eating, or 9-10 hours a day spent sitting at a desk. I blame my genes. I blame my sweet tooth. I blame bread. But me? Oh no, I could never blame myself. It's not my fault that icing-filled donuts entice me. I can't help it when I slurp down an entire Coffee Coolata...with whip. I'm a natural couch potato, slave to no treadmill or exercise regiment. It's the sit-down life for me.

What? Are you saying that might have something to do with it? Perhaps you're right. I'll ponder it as I heft myself up from the desk chair and move to the couch... or maybe to the treadmill. One step at a time. 

By the way, if you see my self-control out galavanting (as self-control is so apt to do), will you tell it I said hello and that it's time to come home? Thanks.